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Joke of the Day
"All men are idiots...and I married their king."
Next Joke
"Its such a beautiful day to stay inside and tweet about what a beautiful day it is out there."
"A dyslexic person walks into a bra."
"A mathematician was out with his friends."
"Every good story starts with a strong female character. You know, some heroin."
"I like my women like I like my pie.... Made by my grandmother."
"What do you get if you fuck an Antarctic penguin? A Chilly Willy."
"Forgot to buy a gift for a friends Wedding. Luckily someone died at an intersection nearby so I scored a cool wooden cross and a teddy bear"
"So I got a text from a guy. He said he lives across the street and would like to get to know me. I answered that I live in front of a cemetery and those kind of acquaintances scare the shit out of me."
"Some days, I wish I had a button to restore myself to my original factory settings"