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Joke of the Day

"When's the best time to come out of the closet? When the coast is queer."

"A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker."

"If I had a dog I'd say ""I have a bone to pick with you!"" and then we'd go to PetSmart to pick a bone and we'd laugh & laugh & can dogs laugh"

"I like my coffee like I like my women, black and from the gas station up the street."

"Hey girl, are you a tube of Pringles? Because my whole fist is stuck inside of you"

"Why did the viper want to become a python ? He got the coiling !"

"I like my women like I like my moose Big, brown, and horny"

"What are facts about canines we must believe? Dogma"

"I used to be a senile UPS worker Shit I messed up the delivery"

"So I was in my house masturbating... and my sister comes up to me all indignant like. She asks me what the hell is wrong with me. I reply that she should knock before coming into her room."