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Joke of the Day

"One of my friends told me he didn't like it when I made fish jokes. But I think he was just being koi."

"Went to Hollister but nothing fit, plus got lost in there for a week. Came out 30lbs lighter, so went back in to buy a shirt. Well played."

"A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a park watching some kids play. The priest turns to the rabbi and says ""Man, I really wanna fuck these kids."" The Rabbi replies ""Outta what?"""

"Why do black people have white hands and feet? Because everyone has a little bit of good in them."

"Michael Schumacher. The second most damaging German fuckup in the French Alpines."

"What is nine inches long and keeps a woman up screaming all night? Sudden Infant Death Syndrome"

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere."

"I would never cheat on my partner. Because that would require two people to find me attractive."

"I was working at the orange juice factory But I got canned couldn't concentrate"

"A candle is my girlfriend... She is very hot"