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Joke of the Day

"Don't believe in aliens, huh? Explain how people in the 1800s got on top of those bicycles with the huge front wheels."

"Moses was the first hippie. He was a guy who came from the hills with long hair and sandals, and he brought with him tablets that made everybody feel good."

"The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30."

"Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards? A: Because he was sitting on the deck !"

"I have a phobia of German sausage Yes, I fear the wurst."

"Why was the pilot dying? Because he had terminal cancer."

"What rhymes and let's you instantly know a redditor is a moron? Purple circle. /r/thebutton"

"Miracle? They say Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas."

"What's the difference between a long bearded redneck and a long bearded ISIS man? One wants to eat filthy american pigs, and the other wants to kill the filthy american pigs."

"If my dad was president of this country... There would be no Isis. It would be Waswas. Dad walked in to the kitchen and dropped this on me."