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Joke of the Day

"Doc: You have gallstones Me: Ugh. Doc: You can control it with diet. Me: Great! Doc: No chocolate, cheese, fried foods... Me: Take it out."

"We are making our own xmas crackers for the family gathering this year. Got any good jokes we can put in them? Jokes as in ""why did the chicken cross the road"" not as in ""live wasps""."

"The Feds say that marijuana has no accepted medical use, overlooking how it could help 20 million unemployed Americans not give a shit."

"God: done? Noah: yea G: whats this Noah proudly: a swing set G: u built a park. I asked for an ark N: a what? G: a boat N: say boat then"

"I met a woman with one leg today. Her name was Eileen."

"When do you care for a man's company? ""When he owns it."""

"Your car keys will always be in the same pocket as the hand that's carrying 6 bags of groceries. Always."

"Waiter: Do you have any questions about the menu? Me: Did you laminate these yourself?"

"Sweden runs out of trash to recycle... ... Where's PewDiePie when you need him."

"Darth Vader watched The Harry Potter movies ""It was pretty wizard i guess"" said Darth Vader"