209364

Joke of the Day

"Diner: May I please have a glass of water? Waiter: Why are you thirsty? Diner: No I want to see if my neck leaks."

"What do you call a person who whores themselves out for spaghetti? A Pastatute"

"My debit card got stolen at the gym which is fine because i will still continue to go so that I can train to fight the person who stole it"

"Have you read that new book on antigravity? It's hard to put down!"

"How does Hilary Clinton clean her glasses? By wiping the mainframe."

"I, for one... is a roman numeral."

"Sometimes I squat on the floor, put my arms around my knees and lean forward... because that's how I roll."

"When I first met your mom, I fell in love with her because she had a kind face... The kind of face I want to fuck the shit out of!"

"Cop: your under arrest Me: you're* under arrest 2nd Cop: [handcuffing 1st cop] sorry Ed, but he's right"

"Liverpool football club"