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Joke of the Day

"Where does Dracula keep his valuables? In a blood bank."

"If you throw a ping pong ball in the air, no less than 45 Chinese people will materialize to catch it & start a tournament."

"I wish I could remember how the hell I ignored people before I owned a cell phone."

"[rap battle] [my opponent attempts to drop the mic, but I stealthily tied it to his finger so it just comes back up like a yo-yo]"

"What did the French philosopher say to the vegetable playing poker? All in, du thyme"

"I've been looking for the lid for this Tupperware container and somehow I'm now three weeks late for work."

"Why can Stephen Hawking only do one liners Because he can't do stand ups"

"I bought some shoes of a drug dealer, I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No-I-Deer Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still No-I-Deer"

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS."