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Joke of the Day
"I wish I could remember how the hell I ignored people before I owned a cell phone."
Next Joke
"A wife comes downstairs before a dinner date with her husband She asks, ""Do I look fat in this dress?"" He replies, ""Do I look dumb in this shirt?"""
"May: What position does your brother play in the school football team ? Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks !"
"And God said, ""Let there be light""... ..and American beer turned into water. And it was bad."
"teaching my 1yo daughter to shout ""Mike Wazowski!"" every time someone opens a closet door"
"Well if there's one thing we can all agree on regarding tomorrow's inauguration ... Orange is the new Black"
"[ronald mcdonald in fake mustache sidles up to group of teens] mcdonalds sucks right guys? Let's discuss ways they could improve their image"
"I dont know if this is old but anyway What would you rate hitlers invasion of poland I personally would rate it nein out of ten Thankyou goodnight"
"What did the newly paroled French prisoner name his restaurant? Attempted Crepe"
"(Sexism warning) Yesterday a tree fell on a woman and killed her. What was a tree doing in the kitchen?"