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Joke of the Day

"A gay guy wants to quit smoking... So he put a nicotine patch on both arms, now he's down to 2 butts a day."

"what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? half of an adolf hitler"

"Getting straight ""A""s does not guarantee success, but plenty of evidence shows that not getting ""A""s doesn't preclude it."

"How do you make the best Harlem Shake video? You throw a flashbang into a room of epileptic children."

"Tell the barista your name is Beetlejuice and quietly walk out."

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening."

"I'd eat more chicken if it was branded as ""Tuna of the Land."""

"A pedophile and a child go into the woods It's dark and raining. The boy looks up to the man and says, ""I'm scared!"" The man replies, ""You're scared? I'm gonna have to walk out of here alone!"""

"On $15 I could travel the world.. of Warcraft"

"My twin brother is a retarded thief. He stole my chromosome."