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Joke of the Day

"HAVE SOME FUN WITH YOUR LIFE: Whisper ""You should have killed me when you had the chance"" to the person in the bathroom stall next to you."

"*crawls up from backseat* *slowly pulls off paper bag from head* What? No... I'm not embarrassed by your driving"

"I have just endorsed Andy Murray on LinkedIn for tennis."

"Why do women have short feet? So they can stand closer to the sink"

"I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair."

"My friend owns a bakery Last week it burnt down Now his business is TOAST"

"The night after taking office, Donald Trump's deal with the Satan has been completed, and he dies, arriving in hell... Well, one can hope, anyway."

"I laughed in r/funny"

"A man walks into a Swedish chemist shop..... ... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits."

"If there's a sock on my doorknob... It means I'm having sex with the other one."