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Joke of the Day

"What does a mathematician do about constipation? Sits down and works it out with a pencil."

"Octopus have 3 hearts, what has 13 hearts and no organs? A deck of playing cards."

"I keep forgetting which Disney princess is it who solves all her own problems without trying to find a boyfriend?"

"""Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?"" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there."

"Three bloody tampons are walking down the street. Which one talks to you first? None of them because they are stuck up cunts."

"How do you get out of the stomach of an elephant? Run around until you get pooped out"

"I decided to sell my vacuum... It was just collecting dust."

"Bought a new exercise program Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort So I did"

"How many Redditeers does it take to post a Super Bowl ""I'lll pass"" joke? apparently all of them..."

"The past, present and the future started fighting. It was in*tense*"