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Joke of the Day

"In Louisville, KY where bars are open till 4 am. Here's my slogan for them: ""Get upchucky in Kentucky."""

"Two whales are at a bar... The first whale turns toward the other and says, ""ooooooOOoooooooOOOOOOOOooo!"" The second whale says, ""Dude, you're drunk as fuck."""

"Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat."

"What would bears be without Bees Ears"

"What did the 1 gay guy say to the other gay guy in a bar? Can I push in your stool."

"What do you say to give an electrician encouragement? ""You conduit!"""

"What would you call a Russian invasion of Alaska? Ice [Krim](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%D0%9A%D1%80%D1%8B%D0%BC)"

"How did the raisin have fun at the movies? It took a date...."

"I looked at a penny under the microscope. What I saw was magnificent."

"The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana."