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Joke of the Day

"What would you call a Russian invasion of Alaska? Ice [Krim](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%D0%9A%D1%80%D1%8B%D0%BC)"

"I used to steal jokes. I still do, but I used to, too."

"Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it. He said ""Ohio is a spectacular place."""

"Five Star Hangover Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the vomit in my car, I'm pretty sure that I'm a ball of fun when I black out on Saturday night."

"Whenever I'm getting off a plane I like to go up to the pilot, lean in really close and whisper ""I had my phone on that whole time."""

"The absolute value of 0 is no laughing matter lol"

"Why should you never date a vegan girl? She won't swallow."

"Why was Oedipus against profanity? because he kisses his mother with that mouth."

"I love to build things... I love hammering, I love sawing, and I love sanding. But drilling is just plain boring."

"International Women's Day That's the joke"