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Joke of the Day

"As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.."

"Why was the man so down in the mouth? Because he ate his pillow."

"I can cut a piece of wood just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes!"

"It was a classic Cinderella story: I walked into strangers' houses and made women try on a shoe I found"

"What has antlers and sucks blood ? A moose-quito !"

"I'm shy at first, but once I'm comfortable with you get ready for some crazy s$it."

"did you hear about that kidnapping in Texas? He woke up."

"Me: ""I'd like to pay by card."" Waiter: ""Contactless?"" Me: ""No, you can cuddle me."""

"What do lesbian vegetarians eat? Vaggie burgers"

"How do you calm down an astronaut? ...you give him space."