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Joke of the Day

"I'm shy at first, but once I'm comfortable with you get ready for some crazy s$it."

"My girlfriend said I didn't respect her freedom enough So I told her to stop rattling in her cage"

"It's pretty rude how they'll kick you out of the hospital just for using a defibrillator to make a grilled cheese sandwich."

"Record ice and precipitation in the northeast and I'm paranoid that the government is watching me Because I am snowed in."

"Easter Kids' Joke Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs? (In a tone like you have no idea) ""No bunny nose"" -Made up this morning in bed to a very dissatisfied girlfriend"

"Stephen Hawking calculates the properties of the universe from a wheelchair and I'm googling how to get paid without leaving my house"

"I ain't votin' for Trump He wants to build a wall and walls are what killed Dale Earnhardt"

"My family crest is just a photo of someone letting it go to voicemail."

"I heard people in jail can only turn left. Because they lost all their rights."

"I was camping when I lost my virginity. It was in tents."