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Joke of the Day
"did you hear about that kidnapping in Texas? He woke up."
Next Joke
"Pregnancy is like a black ops mission They're both expensive to abort."
"*taps on your head* ""Is this think on?"""
"""Call your blonde friend, your black friend & your Asian friend!"" - every cellphone ad ever"
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A fish..."
"in a kindergarten class, there is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. which one do you date? the blonde. she's 18."
"10 ways to cut down on click bait! 1. Don't click 2. Don't click 3. Don't click 4. Don't click 5. Don't click 6. Don't click 7. Don't click 8. Don't click 9. Don't click 10. Don't click"
"I find the best way to deal with death is not to be the person who is dead."
"wife: I was saving that me [eating bacon] It expires today *wife checks package* *sees I crossed out the date and wrote ""today""*"
"Why is Cinderella so bad at football? A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball"