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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""I'd like to pay by card."" Waiter: ""Contactless?"" Me: ""No, you can cuddle me."""

"""Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD? It makes no sense!"" ""Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"""

"What did Ryu say when I asked if I could have some of his food? ***SHORYUKEN***"

"My youngest son gave me a dead leg yesterday. Now I'm wondering where he got it from."

"Approximately how many cows does it take to stock a grocery store with beef? Most of them won't even show up to work, but if you can get them there, two should be able to handle the job."

"What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ? Grave-y !"

"What do you call a dating app for neckbeards? Tipper."

"WIFE: What're you doing in the garage? ME: I made a cloning machine. WIFE: Don't do anything stupid. OTHER ME: Like what?"

"Shout out to politicians for keeping the word ""folks"" alive."

"Doc Says: I got bad news and worst news... The test show that you have alzheimer's and Cancer.. Patient: well at least I don't have Cancer..."