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Joke of the Day

"GENIE: 3 wishes. But no extra wishes & no sex stuff Me: why not? GENIE: I make the rules ME: I wish I made the rules GENIE: ...dammit"

"If I was in a room with Trump and HRC....... and I had a gun and one bullet.... I'd shoot myself in the head...."

"Harassment Teacher: Frame a sentence using the word 'Harassment'. . . . Johnny: I was in love with a girl and Her Ass Meant a lot to me......."

"For Halloween this year, I'm gonna be a dish. Because bitches do dishes."

"There's a fine line between being tan and looking like you were rolled in Doritos."

"I'm shit at telling jokes. I always punch up the fuck line."

"I've got two tickets to paradise and a they're both obstructed view."

"[at my funeral] So young, how did he die? He ran into oncoming traffic after walking past a group of adults saying the word ""bae"""

"Let me tell you about the first time I had sex... I was scared, it was dark, and I was alone."

"A woman wants to buy a pair of spectacles. A woman walks into a shop and says,"" Doctor, I think I need a pair of spectacles! "" The shopkeeper replies,"" You certainly do ma'am! This is a grocery store."