208613

Joke of the Day

"My wife lost a bet and is now mowing the lawn. Well, not so much lost a bet as married the wrong guy."

"I'm about to see if two carrot sticks can undo the damage of three margaritas and six hot dogs."

"Socialism Q. Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists? A. because he wanted to help untie the human race."

"So we're all thinking it by this point! Fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F"

"What do you call it when you fuck a teenager with a bottle of hot sauce? Srirachatory rape."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they are dead."

"Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk? Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)"

"A tree walks into a bar ... The bartender asks him to leave."

"Reddit's biggest April Fool's Day Joke Yet http://i.imgur.com/aT7QoyW.png"

"What do you call it when two snowmen 69? 88"