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Joke of the Day

"I'm ""yells at people who drive too fast in my neighborhood"" years old"

"*takes a sip* this wine has a full body, hint of honey, and a rich pallet. ""sir that's windex."" yes, yes, ill take a bottle."

"I paid a fish to come over to re-key my guitar, piano and drums. He was a professional tuna."

"A mom sat down next to me at the park, smiled and asked, ""Which one's yours?"" I replied, ""None of them... yet."""

"I really hate it when I have to go to work because my abundant wealth doesn't exist."

"Why dont cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny."

"One problem with autocorrect is that you always end up posting some thong that you didn't Nintendo."

"Did you hear about the incestuous hotdogs? They say they're in bread."

"Do you like puns? Then I'll pun you in the face!"

"Give a woman an inch and she probably won't call you back."