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Joke of the Day

"Why did the redneck cross the road His dick was stuck in the chicken"

"If a tree falls in the woods.... .....and no one is around to hear it. Will a hipster buy the soundtrack?"

"It only took four men to wallpaper my house, but I had to slice them really thin."

"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman decided to have a BBQ. The Englishmen brought some meat, the Irishman brought some whiskey and the Scotsman brought some dude from Aberdeen."

"Computers and my spouse are very similar in some ways. If ever there is something wrong, it's probably my fault."

"To successfully fight a bear, strike it firmly in the sternum with an open palm. Congratulations. You are now fighting a bear."

"What do you call it when you run out of seed? Endosperm."

"What is the worst part of being both black and jewish? Having to sit in the back of the oven. (these do not reflect my personal views)"

"Q: What bone will a dog never eat? A: A trombone."

"What's the biggest difference between men and women? The phrase ""I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film."" is a good place to start."