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Joke of the Day

"I hate the people who shout ""THIS IS THE POLICE, OPEN THE DOOR YOU CREEP"". Who plays those kind of jokes anymore? You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez."

"Chinese Proverb Say... Man who push in front of car get tired. Man who push behind car get exhausted."

"The bartender says: ""I'm sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light particles here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"There's a sign at the airport in Pristina Welcome to Kosovo Your car is already here"

"When someone is calling with your girlfriend... Take the phone and say: What has little balls, and hangs down? A bat. What has big balls, and hangs up? ...Then hang up the phone x)"

"Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom. Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store."

"Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin? A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside."

"Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!"

"Men at 25 plays football. Men at 40 plays tennis. Men at 60 plays golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller ?"

"Why were the Indians here first? because they had reservations"