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Joke of the Day

"King Midas doesn't like baths He likes golden showers."

"Where were these Terrorists when Seth Rogen did the Green Hornet?!?!?"

"inspired by the recent election, i'm going to run for president the first step will be to change my name to ""none of the above""."

"Cop: You were going 30 over the speed limit Me: Are you sure about that? *gives him a handful of Cheez-Its* Cop: Have a nice day, sir."

"how did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped his coffee before it was cool"

"Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-ee-ville or Lou-vul? Neither, it's pronounced Frankfort."

"What do you call a hamburger that runs for president? A McTrump"

"All right, Mr. Bank Guy. My business plan is forcing my pregnant dog to drink beer so its puppies are deformed and I can make money off them"

"My Mom burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess she should have put the oven on aloha setting..."

"Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is my favourite book about a weird guy who murders four children then convinces another to live with him."