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Joke of the Day
"how did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped his coffee before it was cool"
Next Joke
"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... ...they always take things literally"
"So I was at Ikea the other day and bought a hot dog. The weird thing is, I had to put it together myself. And when I was finished, there were all these parts left over."
"MOBSTER: *cracks knuckles* ME: that supposed to intimidate me? *his fingers start to glow like glowsticks* ME: k I'm scared but thats rad"
"""if you could be any animal what would you be"" a cat ""why a cat"" [imagines being a complete shithead for literally no reason] naps and stuff"
"The STAR WARS super agressive marketing will probably change the name of Easter to ""The Christ Awakens"""
"""The princess dies. And then the people trying to save her die. Dragon guarding the castle? Dead"" - Bedtime at George R.R. Martin's house"
"I told my dog to bark. He said, ""howwwl loud."""
"What does Rihanna think of Chris Brown? beats me"
"God: sends you to hell for aborting your 'child'.nGod: killed his only son.nAnd that, ladies & gentlemen, is religion in a nutshell."