208274

Joke of the Day

"My waxer just cancelled. So I'm making the best of a bad situation and riding around on top of minivans, Teen Wolf style."

"ME What's a penguins favourite relative? Aunt Arctica! PENGUIN . . ME [makes flies over head motion] PENGUIN I don't know what that means"

"What two things should people stop shaking because shaking hurts these things development? Polaroid Integral Film and Babies"

"I'm a kleptomaniac It's ok though, I'm taking something for it"

"What kind of music does your mailman like? Postrock/Postpunk"

"Wizard of Oz (1939) A hapless brain injured teen is led down the wrong path to heroin, cosplay, organ harvesting and ultimately homicide"

"Why was the chicken kicked out of class? For using *fowl* language."

"Even though the nurse who performed my circumcision did a bad job... I still left her a tip."

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did - in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car."

"My Home Internet Password 2kids1dog. Thats an orgy I don't want to be apart of."