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Joke of the Day

"i only watch superbowl for the commercials.i am unsure how to spend my surplus income &desperately need suggestions via talking animals"

"If we didn't have lawyers... We wouldn't need lawyers!"

"A naked Jew with an erection running at full speed hits a wall He breaks his nose."

"I had sex for an hour and 20 seconds today... Thank you daylight savings time."

"Lethal tasers can be a real buzzkill."

"I told an ex of mine that i wished she was more punctual. So, from then on, she added !!!!!!! to every text. I have picked some winners."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"What's the difference between a politician and a comedian? People care when a comedian speaks."

"No internet access in Cairo- Now the country is just called Gypt."

"Lots of people cry while chopping onions. The trick is to not form an emotional attachment."