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Joke of the Day

"Why does it suck to be an egg? You have to share a room with 11 guys. And it takes you 4 minute to get hard and 2 minute to get soft. The worst part? The only woman that sits on your face is your mom."

"BEETHOVEN'S CHICKEN Q: Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A: It kept saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach."""

"LG is like XDA... ... they release a phone and they go like ""Any problems? You tell me""."

"Me: You need to eat vegetables instead of candy if you want to be tall. 4-year-old: I'll just be small and happy."

"WTF is a palindrome? No it isn't."

"What do you call a kid that stands up to bullies? An ambulance."

"""I tell you, this car runs like a dream!"" I change gears and the gearstick turns into a swan. I turn on the wipers & it rains on the inside."

"What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racists."

"Saw an ad that said ""Radio for sell, volume stuck on full. 1$"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down""."

"85% of Canadian moms need you to fix their computer this afternoon"