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Joke of the Day

"Saw an ad that said ""Radio for sell, volume stuck on full. 1$"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down""."

"My friend tells me he gets 20 times more bitches than me I told him: u get no bitches because 20*0=0 :("

"*standing outside your house I was totally going to stalk you but... *pets your dog instead"

"Kids today will never know the horror that would come from seeing a payphone start ringing suddenly in the middle of the night."

"If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost."

"Someone asked me where I will be in 5 years? I said I don't know, I dont have 20/20 vision. Compliments to my dad for that one."

"*goes on Facebook AGAIN* *reads 100,000th idiotic post* *thinks other people are stupid*"

"Why was the grandmother's license revoked? She had lost her fine motor skills."

"Love restaurants that put ice cubes in their urinals. Makes me think the ice is a bank vault and my pee is a laser."

"Bank of America is halting foreclosures in all 50 states as part of an investigation into why 7 people in the U.S. still have homes."