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Joke of the Day

"I am a bank robber... I took a pen from the teller"

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"Trying to talk sense into a racist... Is like trying to beat a Jew at hide and seek."
"In honor of the Million Muslim March... What do you get when you add a million lesbians to the Million Man March? Two million people that don't do dick."
"I literally use hyperbole seven billion times a day."
"ME: Sorry boss, I can't make it in today. Because of Ebola. BOSS: You have Ebola? ME: No but someone does and I am FREAKING THE HELL OUT"
"hey babe i got this new cologne called colon and i smell like my digestive system i hope you like it"
"What do you call a woman who rents out hot dogs? Lisa Frank"
"Messi carrying Argentina. Neymar carrying Brazil. British Airways carrying England"
"What's the useless skin around the vagina called? The woman."
"So my neighbor knocked on my door at 3AM... Who knocks on doors at three in the morning? It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes."