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Joke of the Day

"Trying to talk sense into a racist... Is like trying to beat a Jew at hide and seek."

"Interviewer: what's your greatest weakness? Me: I'm always very honest. Interviewer: I don't think that's a weakness. Me: I don't give a fuck what you think."

"How did the Roman cut his hair? Caesar"

"Tom Brady is a clever mastermind He learned from another great American hero named Tom and convinced Bill Belichick to whitewash his offenses."

"I've developed a fear of imitation ale, It's a faux beer."

"I went to the doctor today. He told me I was fat. I said I wanted a second opinion. He says, Okay, you're ugly."

"How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything."

"If I had a dollar for every person over 40 that told me my generation sucks I could afford a house in the economy they ruined."

"National product once got caught picking his nose and eating it thus forever being known as gross national product."

"Did you hear about Helen Keller's dating life? because I heard she wasn't seeing anyone"