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Joke of the Day

"So my neighbor knocked on my door at 3AM... Who knocks on doors at three in the morning? It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes."

"Good cop: u want a drink? Good cop 2: I love your shirt Good cop 3: ur so ripped dude Good cop 4: the bad cops are striking today, handsome"

"She wanted a puppy. But I didn't want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy."

"There's a line of underwear specially made for skeletons... It's called the VerteBra."

"What's the difference between a jew and... ...Do you know what's the difference between a jew and a boy scaut? A boy scout comes back from a camp."

"How do you find will smith in a blizzard? Look for fresh prince"

"[Barber gets out a small mirror to show an owl the back of its head] Owl: No I got it *rotates* Owl: Wait where'd it- *rotates* Owl: Ok help"

"Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other ""How do you get to the other side?"" ""You are on the other side"" the other blonde yells back."

"Why don't English teachers like parole? They prefer complete sentences."

"[holding baby] haha oh whoa i thought he'd be slimey but he's really dry"