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Joke of the Day

"Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with a car, Throw you off a street so high, Hope you break your neck and die."

"I was searching for bear photos When I made a grizzly discovery"

"It's Kim Kardashian's birthday. Which begs the question, ""What do you get the person who does nothing?"""

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"BREAKING NEWS! Lorena Bobbitt involved in a road rage incident. She cut off some dick in traffic."

"It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor."

"Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike."

"Aaanndd I've just been peed on. Were I Tila Tequila I'd have met 1 of my New Years resolutions before the clock had even struck midnight"

"What is Lil Wayne's favorite food? Caesar salad"

"A gymnast walks into a bar... He gets a two-point deduction and ruins his chance of a medal."