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Joke of the Day

"""What is the difference between a black pinnochio and a white pinnochio."" The black pinnochio's nose grows wider when he lies."

"I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage... The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity."

"I wish my girlfriend.... Would go down as much as Pokemon Go servers"

"Thought about growing some impatiens this year... but then decided against it. Takes too long."

"If I were gonna give advice about how to survive leaving your phone at home, it would be this: stare at something else. I chose a weird baby"

"Is there a God? A billion Hindus can't be wrong."

"Ellen Pao walked into a bar The bar bent. Bartender served her 3 sets of jumbo meals. Bartender had to repair the door."

"The person that was in charge of naming Ohio must have thought of it when they realized someone was waving at the person behind them."

"If you ever feel like a complete moron never forget that I managed to text my wife today that she forgot her mobile at home. You're welcome."

"I like to throw a fake punch at a hooker's crotch. If she flinches, I know it's a dude."