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Joke of the Day
"You call them ""cuss words""... I call them ""sentence enhancers""."
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"which country has the maximum number of bacteria, fungus, viruses and other micro organisms? GerMany"
"So there's this mollusk And he walks up to the sea cucumber and he says, ""With knees like these, who needs anemones!"""
"When playing Fuck/Marry/Kill always ask yourself: will my ""marry"" be cool w/ me fucking & killing these other people?"
"I'm so committed to pizza that I've stopped wearing a condom when I eat it."
"What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone? An oncologist"
"Secret To Comedy Guy 1: Hey! Ask me ""What is is the secret to comedy?"" Guy 2: Okay ... What is the sec- Guy 1: TIMING!!! sorry if it sucks"
"breakfast in bed? babe I thought you said brofest in bed. *gestures at chad and brad to leave* *whispers* we can still play frisbee later."
"What do you call an alligator that starts something? An insti-GATOR!"
"Whats a cab drivers favorite song? Livin' on a fare!"