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Joke of the Day

"which country has the maximum number of bacteria, fungus, viruses and other micro organisms? GerMany"

"Haters gonna hate, thermometers gonna thermom"

"Just read a book on Helium. Couldn't put it down."

"Her: Babe! Be careful! The stove is hot! Me winking and leaning on the stove: You're Hot, Baby. 911: What's your emergency?"

"Cop: Know why I stopped u? Cuz u JUST CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE? Cop: I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT WE STARTED FIGHTIN FOOOR For speeding."

"How do you like your juice? I like mine gassy and concentrated."

"What's the best thing about an extremely drunk, angry girlfriend? They don't remember when you smack the ever living shit out of them."

"Apparently I snore so loudly that I scare everyone in the car I'm driving."

"I saw my ex wife in a grocery store. ""Having fun there?"" I asked her, as she felt up the apples. ""Does that remind you of someone?"" She said, ""No, but this does,"" Then she started rubbing the grapes."

"Why do white girls walk in groups of odd numbers? Because they literally can't even."