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Joke of the Day

"After filling up my gas tank this morning before work, I realized that I didn't want to eat for the"

"I hate people who take drugs. Like customs officers."

"My 12yo son's protip: Buy larger sized clothes and you'll look like you lost weight. You're welcome."

"You know how you play Iranian bingo? A-10, B-52, F-22, C-130"

"Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work. The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country."

"[2015 Bird Awards] AND THE AWARD FOR GROSSEST NAME GOES TO...HORNED GUAN (Lizard Buzzard quietly puts acceptance speech back in pocket)"

"(Here's a Pick up line) ... You should sell hot dogs ! Because you know how to make a wiener stand!"

"I'm convinced that my wife took 9 years of education at 3 different colleges just to win all the arguments for the rest of my life."

"Q: Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job? A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!"

"If insanity is doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results, I must be sane cause I don't even like doing things once."