207629
Joke of the Day
"My smartphone is now all I need to organise events in my life My calendar's days are numbered."
Next Joke
"Why do you call a Mexican midget a paragraph? ...because he's too short to be called an essay."
"Police hunting a man for indecent assault. Applications close next week."
"I always put pennies in that thing at the convenience store so I can put ""benefactor"" on my resume."
"How did Hitler tie his shoes? In knotsies. (The unfollow button is only a click away)"
"Not having a date on Valentine's Day doesn't really worry me... It's those 364 other date-less days that are causing me a bit of concern."
"The most diverse software company in the world consists of 100% black lesbian single mothers missing a body part, with arts degrees"
"Why was the Headless Horseman depressed? He could never seem to get ahead in life."
"I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 pm The clock turned to 12:00 and I thought to myself, ""Same shit, different day."""
"I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic"