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Joke of the Day

"Your dad is so dumb... that he forgot to use a condom -sorry"

"I am a big fan of Canadian bacon... ...but I have yet to find out how they turn Americans into cheese."

"More men have been enrolling in domestic violence support groups than ever If you can't beat em, join em"

"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno buisness. ... I'll let my self out."

"Son: ""I got expelled"" Dad: ""How?"" Son: ""I wrote 2 + 2 = 41 on the whiteboard."" Dad: ""That's pretty dumb but-"" Son: ""Then my teacher told me to go up to the board..."" Dad: ""Ok?"" Son: ""And rub 1 out."""

"Which faction in Divergent has the largest number of lamborghinis? Erudite because they like knowledge a lot more than materialistic things"

"She asked me to buy Tampons so I bought Kotex, because that one time I wanted ice cream and she bought frozen yogurt."

"[buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely"

"I once hung out with Rupert Murdoch (Fox News Boss) and Vince McMahon (WWE)... ...they spent the whole day sharing tips and tricks to manage the make-believe worlds they have created."

"They say you shouldn't smoke or drink when pregnant. I disagree. Best give it a shot before you splash out on another abortion. Besides there are only so much hangers in the world."