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Joke of the Day

"What bait do you use to catch a space fish? A worm hole"

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."

"What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats. Edit: Omg guys! I didn't expect this to take off this much, thanks guys!"

"A unicorn without testicles is called a eunuchorn"

"If I had to pick between being a hardcore Democrat and being a hardcore Republican I would definitely choose a noose."

"surprise your partner in the bedroom by loudly turning into a helicopter"

"I'm more than happy to take your sloppy seconds. Who am I kidding, I'll take corroded fourteenths."

"Why can't you find pirates in Kansas? They all live in Arkansas"

"lifeguard: can you describe the thing that touched you? me: yea...it was like a wet wind chime made out of wieners lifeguard: a squid?"

"My dog has no legs. I call him Cigarette. Every night I come home from work, I take him for a drag."