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Joke of the Day

"PRIEST: In the beginning there was the word ME: capsicum P: no M: tumescent gerund caliphate P: stop trying to guess the word M: maelstrom"

"All the roles in Gravity were played by Martin Lawrence."

"A soldier is at the bar when his buddy walks in. The buddy, surprised to see him, asks... Buddy: Hey how did you escape Iraq? Soldier: Iran."

"First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It's because he's a hoptimist."

"The problem with cuddling in bed with your true love is that iPhones don't cuddle back."

"In Russia, Vladimir Putin has said that the killers of Nemtsov ""will be ruthlessly hunted down."" He added, ""It's cheaper than paying them"""

"Peter Parker was lucky that radioactive spider bit his hand not his ass or he'd have shot out web every time he farted."

"Where are the Atlantis and the lost treasures of many renowned pirates? Nobody knows.It's a well kept seacret."

"What do you call a bunch of gay guys in a bowl for breakfast? Queerios"

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten- tickles FTW!"