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Joke of the Day

"I like my women how I like my jokes funny :)"

"What do you call a urinary tract infection caused in a virgin? Immaculate Infection"

"It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty. But he had a great fall."

"Schools kind of like a penis.. long and hard, unless you're asian."

"friend of mine collapsed while he was putting the washing out the other day and had to be rushed to hospital. He almost pegged it."

"concerned about people posting false lunches. lying about the food they ate on here. fraud meals. please start putting the receipts up"

"Donald Trump chose Mikey Pence as his vice-president... Did anyone else realize that Mickey and Donald will run America from now on? Walt Disney also could not have imagined this..."

"Next year I'll give up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights... It's going to be Excel Lent"

"[grocery shopping] ""Actually it should be 15 items or FEWER"" I'll fix that sir [grabs mic] CUSTOMER NEEDS HELP FINDING EXTRA SMALL CONDOMS"

"How do you circumcise a redneck? You kick his sister in the jaw."