207319

Joke of the Day

"Why was the communist school not successful? There were no classes"

"What do you call a Roman with a hair in his teeth? Gladiator."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits."

"[1st date] Waiter: Can I get you a drink ma'am ? Me: Wow really bro right in front of me?"

"what the cell say to its sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis"

"If we eliminated, ""Is your car running ok?"" from our conversations, my dad and I would never speak."

"If you watch Twitter backwards, it's about millions of socially-awkward people gradually learning how to survive in the real world."

"I laughed at Yoda for hiding in a swamp Then again, he's the only Jedi to ever die from old age Maybe he knew what he was doing after all."

"[during sex] HER: this isn't working out ME: *putting sock puppet away* was it something he said?"

"I'm not above apologizing for my drunken behavior I'm just sick of repeating myself"