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Joke of the Day

"This girl came up to me today, and claimed she knew me from her vegetable club. I'd never met herbivore."

"Watching seals have sex has got to be the most disturbing thing I've watched today over and over."

"What is a mexican's favourite sport? Cross-Country Running"

"Smiling releases endorphins in your body, which relieves stress. All I have to do now is explain that to my proctologist when he's done."

"it says here you got fired from Olive Garden because you kept saying ""pasta la vista, baby"" to people. why would you put that on a resume"

"How the name WIFE was invented They took 1st and last 2 letters of WILDLIFE and invented WIFE :)"

"Next month on the 13th, the date will be 13/13/13."

"The best way to respond when a girl asks you if she's fat is to fake a seizure."

"Women's deodorant: Spring Breeze, Lilac, Gentle Sunshine. Men's deodorant: Sport, Mountain, Forest Fire, Rage, Fistfight, Childhood Angst."

"Space Joke What did the engineers say to the crew of astronauts after they discovered they didnt install the rockets correctly.... Guys, we really Apollo-gize"