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Joke of the Day

"how do you make a dog go ""meow""? Freeze it solid then push it through a band saw. MEEEOOW!"

"Why do people with OCD like Family Feud? Because it's always black and white."

"Friend: You're going to be an usher at our wedding. Is that okay? Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah."

"Gonna start rapping about women's rights... Call me Feminem."

"Jesus knock tentatively on God's door, enters, and God says..... Now lets go through this one more time....What exactly did you tell them again?"

"Pro tip: ""Hold my drink"" is not a proper response to ""License and registration, please."" ...... apparently."

"A bunch of black dudes were standing in front of my gardening equipment. Bros before hoes."

"Did you hear about the Zodiac killer? I heard he cut his victims in to little pisces!"

"What do you call a gang of penguins? A ganguin"

"I'm thinking of starting a youth foundation... I mean I've already got like 30 kids buried in my basement."