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Joke of the Day

"Members of Congress are like farts. We hate all of them except our own."

"Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open."

"""It's our third date and you still wear that shirt?"" Honey, this all they have in prison."

"What do Trump supporters and child molesters have in common? They both like immature assholes."

"I don't know why people are surprised when I tell them my Grandfather Made it out of Auschwitz. Most of the German officers did."

"I went on a caving trip with my friend. I shouted to him that I found some Basalt. He shouted back ""That's Gneiss!"""

"Did you hear about the farmer's daughter who was sent home from the county fair? She couldn't keep her calves together."

"I'm never gonna tell the person I'm meeting up with that you said hi."

"whats a ghost's favorite fruit? booberries!"

"I read an article about a stolen dog being reunited with its owner and it made me feel good to think maybe someone will steal my dog one day"