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Joke of the Day

"I have my entire Valentine's day planned with my toaster! Okay, so first, we're going to take a bath."

"I was told a good joke at a New Year party... Hillary Clinton"

"Just came up with this one Q:Why do black people despise environmental studies? A:Cause they always get hung up on trees."

"Me: *gets on scale* 5yo: Whoa! That's a lot of points!"

"it might be a handjob for her... but it's a career for me."

"[runs up to a group of people] ME: ZACK ATTACK GUY: lol is your name zack or [thousands of bros crest a nearby hill] ME: [whispering] RUN"

"Investigators say the Germanwings copilot suffered from manic depression. One minute he was up, then he was down."

"What did the gingerbread man say during sex? I'm gonna crumb!"

"What's A Columbian's Favorite Kind of Drink? Coke."

"How do you make rape funny? You force it"