207095

Joke of the Day

"9*picking his nose* wife:Get your finger out of your nose! me [alone in the bedroom] *takes finger out of nose* *whispers* How did she know?"

"So, a bird flies in front of a pitcher and gets hit by a baseball. What do the umpires rule it? Fowl ball"

"I once snuck my cat into a grocery store just to show him what a lazy hunter I am."

"Why is the US terrible at league of legends? Because they can't protect their towers."

"Potato chips bragging about having less fat - I don't think you understand people who eat you."

"Are there any police officers willing to come to my house in uniform and tell my kids that not listening to me is against the law"

"If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, Then soviet."

"2 humorist were fixing a bomb in a car humorist 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. humorist 2 : Don't worry, I have a one more."

"My grandfather died of asbestosis. Took 6 months to cremate him. This works better in person when you get the other person believing you first."

"What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, I'm going in."