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Joke of the Day

"Are there any police officers willing to come to my house in uniform and tell my kids that not listening to me is against the law"

"I am waiting for scientist to invent invisible chocolate nobody will see me getting fat."

"Where can you go on Reddit to ask questions? Not /r/movies."

"My 2 year old woke up. 5 minutes of ""Mommy!"" 5 minutes of ""Mommy?"" Said ""Daddy?"" one time & my wife said, ""You should go check on her""."

"Me: YOU CAN DO IT SON! Son: Why are you being so encouraging? Are you drunk? Me: Yep. So pass your driving test or we're walking home."

"GOP threatens to shutdown government unless Obama changes color of skin."

"30 And to his followers he said, ""Beliebers, weep not for me but yourselves and your children; for they'll never get to see me in concert."""

"The only thing worse than girls going after the ""Bad Boy"" is today's perception of what a Bad Boy is."

"When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just find it strange how many people have knives on a date."

"Redneck joke If'n you and your wife get divorced, and still agree to be cousins, you might be a redneck."