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Joke of the Day
"A Completely Original Joke Oops, I forgot it son-of-a-b***h..!!!"
Next Joke
"I like to observe people in lines. I'm in Wait Watchers."
"""You deleted your search history. Good move. But you forgot about something..."" *cop gets all up in suspect's face* ""Targeted. Banner. Ads."""
"Worry: a waste of imagination."
"I wish people would stop asking me where I see myself in 5 years.. I don't have 2020 vision."
"I stole a seat from an old man and he remarked, ""Chivalry is Dead"". I said, ""I'm sorry, I didn't know. He wasn't even trending on Twitter""."
"What are you going to be when you get out of school? An old man!"
"A pack of coyotes shrieking at 3:12 AM is less unsettling if you instead imagine it's a bachelorette party that just got a limo upgrade."
"I bought shoes from a second hand shop. They must've belonged to a junkie though because I've been tripping all day."
"How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup? Read the label."