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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a vampire ophthalmologist? Count Drocular"
Next Joke
"Don't succumb to peer pressure. . . . . . . Remember, none of your friends do."
"Anyone got a 10 year old daughter I could introduce as mine? Stuck in an elaborate lie after putting my music on shuffle at a party."
"ME: i thought i saw a new color today WIFE: wait- is this..are you.. M: but it- W: oh no M: was just- W: dont M: a pigment of my imagination"
"That's the thing with mental health It's all in your head."
"You can say what you want about pedophiles ...but at least they drive slowly around schools and playgrounds."
"I burned 1000 calories today... Forgot I had a pizza in the oven."
"What would you call a terrorist organisation run by wielders of the dark side of the force? ISITH"
"A grand jury is made up of a cross-section of the community. I ride the train w/the cross-section & it's mostly people peeing on the floor."
"Ever since I became a vampire I've been too ashamed to even look at myself in the mirror"